"SIDEKICK!"

Saw Sky High on opening day. Bruce Campbell and superheroes... what more could one ask from a film?

I'm glad to see it's getting positive reviews; the supervillain's demented plot to take over the world is ingenious, and Campbell really nails the obnoxious high school gym coach role.

From the trailer you can see that Sky High has a bit of a Hogwarts vibe to it, and that it is Coach Boomer (Campbell) who decides whether the new students will be Superheroes or Sidekicks... which means that Bruce is essentially playing the Sorting Hat in this movie. Just wish I'd thought to tell him that when he was in Houston a few weeks ago.

It was fun to see Kurt Russell return to his roots and play a Disney hero again; seems like he was in half the movies I saw as a child. I also want to point out that Lynda Carter, TV's Wonder Woman from almost 30 years ago, still looks incredible as Sky High's Principal Powers. Whoever Joss Whedon casts in his upcoming Wonder Woman movie will have quite a costume to fill.

I'll write more on Bruce Campbell later. For now, a couple of links: Visit Sky High; Bruce Campbell Online.

“Remember, remember, the fifth of November..."

"...The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot."

Comics 101 on the V For Vendetta graphic novel.

The V For Vendetta movie trailer.

V For Vendetta writer Alan Moore on anarchy.

V For Vendetta artist David Lloyd discusses the film adaptation.

Read about Guy Fawkes and the facemask worn by V.

"I can't relate to 99% of humanity." *

Finally got around to seeing Ghost World last night. Based on the comic book by Daniel Clowes, it's a fine example of what the comics industry has to offer Hollywood beyond spandex and leather-clad superheroes. Sure, superheroes dominate the box office chart for comic book adaptations, but movies like From Hell and Road to Perdition make respectable showings, and can bring in a completely different audience, oblivious to the movies' comic book origins. (And how many movies can match Ghost World's 92% Fresh rating on the Tomatometer?)

*Steve Buscemi as Seymour.

Telling Dead Man's Tales

Left: a sketch of Davy Jones (or as my friend Vic refers to him, Cthulhubeard), the villain of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, who will be played by Bill Nighy*.

Terry Rossio (screenwriter on all 3 Pirates of the Caribbean movies, along with Ted Elliot) is blogging from the set of the sequels, which are being shot back-to-back.

Rossio & Elliot also wrote Shrek, The Mask of Zorro, and Aladdin, among other screenplays. And their names are attached to Godzilla (they wrote the story for the movie that Devlin and Emmerich should have made, as I pointed out in an earlier post) and The Puppet Masters (for Rossio's take on that experience, read his essay Q: When is a Spaceship Not a Spaceship? A: When It's a Brain Coral).

*Favorite Bill Nighy roles: aging rocker Billy Mack in Love Actually, Viktor the vampire overlord in Underworld, Shaun's stepfather Philip in Shaun of the Dead, and fjord designer Slartibartfast in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

World's First Super-Intelligent Politician

The other day I posted a message about ducks running for president, so in the interest of fair time for nonhuman species, I should point out that Gorilla Grodd once ran for governor of whatever state Central City is in. And while no one really takes storylines from the Silver Age seriously, I suppose that Grodd is no more unlikely a candidate for office than Schwarzenegger.

Also, the Joker recently ran for governor of whatever state Gotham City is in, and is no doubt dreading the next Legion of Doom conference, where he'll have to endure Grodd's "Been there, done that" cracks. The Joker really shouldn't be ashamed of his political career, however. Honestly, has Grodd ever been Iran's Ambassador to the United Nations?

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take a Joke

AMC Theatres Backs Out of Obligation to Show "The Aristocrats"

I can't wait to see this movie. I loved the original version when I was a kid.

AMC chain vetoes 'dirtiest joke ever'

Penn Blasts Cinema Bosses over Film Ban

Penn & Teller News

The Aristocrats, Reviewed at Sundance 2005; One of the funniest films ever made

Grodd vs. Scopes: Call Me Ishmael

"However, the longer I listened the clearer it became that creationism is not about science. It's about morality. Specifically, creationists worry that biological evolution undermines people's moral beliefs, leading to lawlessness, family breakdown, homosexuality, pornography, and abortion. The real heart of creationism is existential dread."

--Ronald Bailey, Reason Magazine: Creation Summer Camp: Live from the 2005 Creation Mega-Conference

Hey kids, take a virtual tour of the The Creation Museum!

Stan Lee Cameos We'd Like To See

I think that Fantastic Four should mark a turning point in Stan Lee's cameo career. In the new movie, Stan appears as Willie Lumpkin, the FF's mailman, an actual character from the comic books -- a big step up from the "man on the street" roles he's had in previous Marvel films, where he's been credited as Man Dodging Debris, Old Man at Crossing, Hot Dog Vendor, etc.

This got me to wondering about Stan's potential cameos in the laundry list of upcoming Marvel adaptations that Avi Arad recently recited. Surely all of these superheroes have someone in their supporting cast that would make a perfect cameo role for The Man. Here are the suggestions from a couple of my comic geek friends:

Jeff writes: Actually the most obvious is Dr. Erskine, the creator of the Super Soldier formula. It would be an extended cameo in the Captain America movie, but if you look at the first Cap comic, the doctor looks a lot like Stan’s current look.

James Carter Holt of the Millennial Planet sent in this list:

Spider-Man 3 - The Man could play the part of the Terrible Tinkerer.

Iron Man - Stan could play the part of the old Vietnamese guy who helped Stark design his original suit of armor. "Death to Wong Chu, Death to the evil tyrant!..." etc. The dialogue would be right up Stan's alley. [That would be "the famed physicist Yin Sen"]

Captain America - Bucky survives, putting the lie to a whole raft of out-of-date Marvel continuity. Without the benefit of suspended animation to preserve his youth, Stan could portray Bucky, who is now Steve Rogers' elder and wants to give him a lot of unwanted advice.

Namor - Stan has the perfect build to portray the Whizzer, Namor's old partner in the All-Winners Squad. [I don't know, I think Stan looks more like the Squadron Supreme's Whizzer, who's even a former postman, like Willie Lumpkin]

Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD - He's maybe a little too old now, but otherwise, Stan could portray the indominable Jasper Sitwell.

The Hulk 2 - Stan = George Herbert Walker Bush, former director of CIA.

Ant-Man - Stan = Janet Van Dyne's father. [Vernon Van Dyne was a colleague of Hank Pym before being murdered by an extraterrestrial]

Black Panther - Stan = T'Challa's houseboy.

My suggestion would be the crime boss Silvermane in the Cloak & Dagger movie. Not really a cameo, I realize, but who wouldn't pay to see a cyborg version of Stan Lee?

Post your suggestions for future Stan Lee cameos in Comments.

Comic Books: The Anti-Drug

Teen gets four years in prison for comic book theft

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. A teen gets a stiff prison term from a Flagstaff judge for stealing a collection of rare comic books.

Eighteen-year-old Devin Fredericks pleaded guilty to breaking into a home and swiping the 140-thousand-dollar collection in February. He allegedly stole the books to buy drugs and alcohol.

The comic books, which had been sold to a used book retailer, were returned to their owner.

Fredericks received a four-year prison term for trafficking in stolen property and burglary. He won't be eligible for parole until he serves at least 85 percent of his sentence.

Copyright 2005 Associated Press. KPHO Phoenix

Ironically, I've considered selling drugs in order to pay for my comic books.

Above: The cover to Steve Gerber's Hard Time: 50 To Life.

If It Walks, Talks, and Campaigns Like a Duck...

I was working for a bookstore chain when the children's book Duck for President was published and then displayed with much fanfare in large cardboard dumps as part of some corporate promotional deal. The attention lavished upon this unoriginal winner of the NYT Best Illustrated Book award annoyed me somewhat, and whenever things got slow I would retrieve a copy of the Essential Howard the Duck trade paperback from the Graphic Novels section to show my coworkers that Steve Gerber had originated this concept way back in 1976 in what is easily one of the greatest comic book series of all time.

I was reminded of this today when I discovered that Nickelodeon is making a Duck for President movie. My bemusement at the existence of 2 separate presidential waterfowls was compounded by a quick Google search that turned up a "Daffy Duck for President" campaign, book and short by Chuck Jones. And apparently Donald Duck for President has become some weird internet meme that I don't get.

I'm not sure what it is about ducks that makes them such appealing candidates for the presidency. Gerber has always been known as a trailblazer, so perhaps Howard is still setting trends 2 decades after his bid for the White House. Regardless, after suffering through 2 terms with Dubya, I for one will glady welcome our new feathered overlords.

Wonder Woman and Her Wacky WAC

Thanks to the DVDs and the upcoming Joss Whedon film, Wonder Woman is back on the geek radar, and it reminded me of a question I once posted on my message board:

Okay, who remembers the old Wonder Woman TV show? Wonder Woman's secret identity was Diana Prince. But this wasn't her real name, it was just an assumed name that she used when she decided to stay in America. So "Diana Prince" isn't an American citizen. She's not even a legal citizen of any recognized country on Earth, considering that she's from Paradise Island. Yet, she has no trouble getting a job at the War Department! No driver's license. No birth certificate. No passport. And America's in the middle of a World War. So my 2-part question is: (a) "Who did she have to sleep with to get a security clearance?" and (b) "How lucky was THAT bastard?" I mean, think about it. We're not talking about some macho soldier or pilot here. He had to be some file clerk somewhere. And one day this Amazon Princess who looks like Lynda Carter in her prime shows up and needs a favor. He's probably still telling his grandkids about it. Doesn't it sound like one of Grampa Simpson's war stories? "I slept with Wonder Woman once!" Just a thought.

My buddy Jeff posted this response:

Being the espionage history buff that I am, I can tell you that Corey is right on the money with the exception of one thing. During WWII, G-2 admin was primarily staffed with women since the men were all tasked out for operations. The personnel function including vetting of operatives were all done by the fair sex. So, right concept, wrong gender. I prefer that version anyway.

I didn't give Jeff's version a lot of thought at the time, but reading it again, I was reminded of Diana's "best friend," the supposedly unlucky-in-love Private Etta Candy of the Women's Army Corp. She and Diana spent an awful lot of time together, and I'm pretty sure that, as General Blankenship's secretary, Etta could have pulled any strings that Wonder Woman needed for the creation and protection of her secret identity. Plus, who wouldn't want a girlfriend named Private Candy?

Brave & Bold

R.I.P. Jim Aparo, 1932-2005

The news of legendary Batman artist Jim Aparo's death has been traveling around the internet for a few days. I decided to post something about his passing myself when a friend sent me this, the obituary at The Comic Book Bin, which includes information from, and the wishes of, the Aparo family, along with contact information.

The art above is the cover of a book scheduled to be released in October, The Brave and Bold Art of Jim Aparo. The book description:

For a generation of comic-book readers, Jim Aparo is considered the greatest Batman artist of them all. Aparo - with his strong, dynamic style, well-grounded in realism - together with Batman made a team worthy of the title, The Brave and the Bold. Now, Scott Beatty (writer of Batman and The DC Comics Encyclopedia) along with Eric Nolen-Weathington (editor/designer of the Modern Masters book series) turn the Bat Signal onto the life and work of one of comics' finest: Jim Aparo. From his time in the world of advertising art, through the heyday of the '70s, and beyond the death of Robin, Aparo's career is finally given the attention it so richly deserves.

The following quote about Jim Aparo's historical impact on DC Comics comes from a good article by Ray Tate at Silver Bullet Comics, The Importance Of Being Brave And Bold:

The real important era of Brave and Bold arrived when Jim Aparo began an almost twenty year uninterrupted run as the Batman artist. I mean no disrespect to the authors. The writers however came and went. Mr. Aparo remained, and what made his run, so important is that he was doing archetypal DCU. This is the DCU all but the history-cheated new comic book readers remember.

Also, here is an interview with Jim Aparo from the August 2000 issue of Comic Book Artist.

I won't try to expound on Jim Aparo's career or his contribution to the comics industry -- the major details are available at the links above. On a personal note, however, I will add this: For many of us, when we think of the classic image of Batman, it is Jim Aparo's art that pops into our heads. His art is as iconic as the character himself.

Scarlett Spider Slayer

I really enjoyed Devlin and Emmerich's Eight Legged Freaks (why isn't "eight-legged" hyphenated?). It contains all of the essential monster movie fun that was sadly lacking from their Godzilla movie. (This is the version they should have produced). You can watch an interview with Scarlett Johansson about the filming of Eight Legged Freaks here (I wonder if her nose ring helped the interviewer focus on her face instead of her... oh, just watch the clip).

Scarlett Spider Slayer, whose secret identity is of course Scarlett Johansson, is now the official superhero of this blog.

Really, I'm one of the last people you'd ever catch extoling the virtues of a celebrity, but Ms. Johansson is a real American heroine. This would be a better country if more people emulated her example:

1. Scarlett Johansson, the Anti-Diva. Injured on the set of The Island, she soldiered on rather than make a fuss.

2. Doesn't freak out or allow the threat of terrorist attacks to change the way she lives her life, despite the media's fearmongering. (For the best contrast of the American and British responses to terror, check out this clip of the The Daily Show's coverage of the London bombings).

3. Possesses the fortitude necessary to resist religious indoctrination with dignity and grace.

4. Even after winning awards, realizes there are more meaningful and worthwhile things she could be doing besides acting.

5. Does not suffer from Gymnophobia, the pathological fear of nudity. (See previous posts: Another Reason to Hate Michael Bay, One Track Mind, and Scarlett Johansson in Next Bat-Sequel)

Resilient, levelheaded, and resistant to multiple forms of brainwashing... America could use a lot more spider slayers and far fewer sheep.

Bringing Democracy to America & Television

Two systems that are broken in America: U.S. Elections and Network Television. They have 2 different reasons – The Electoral College and Stupid Network Executives – but they share the same solution: Internet Voting.

A major problem with elections is that people have wised up to the fact that their votes don’t count. With television, people are beginning to realize they’re being force-fed crap by clueless morons.

The Electoral College system of representative democracy is archaic in this day and age, and should be eliminated in favor of a popular vote via online ballots. The technology exists for a democracy upgrade, why not implement it?

It's time for television networks to enter the 21st century as well. Thanks to advances in technology, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the people know what they want, and studio execs don't.

Some examples: Global Frequency, now known as the hottest TV show never aired (click the picture above to read the article), was passed over by WB executives. But thanks to Internet file-sharing, people have realized that the Global Frequency pilot is better than anything else WB (or the other networks) is likely to offer us. Family Guy: The first TV show in history to be uncancelled. Firefly: Cancelled after 13 episodes, only to be turned into a motion picture due out in September. Futurama: Abused and then cancelled by Fox, will be returning soon in straight-to-DVD movies.

These are the first times that fans' opinions have mattered since the classic Star Trek series was renewed for a third season back in the 1960s. And while it's a good trend, I have to ask, why wait and fix mistakes after TV execs make them, when the technology exists for a proactive approach? Why not just let viewers pick the pilots that they want to become series in the first place?

A savvy network could even turn the process into a reality TV series. Imagine a TV show that would let America decide a network's entire fall schedule by voting on pilots, sort of like a cross between American Idol and Project Greenlight. Popular TV critics could provide commentary, interview Nielsen Families, ridicule clips from the worst pilots, etc. How could this not generate more successful results than the system that networks use now?

R.I.P. James Doohan

I grew up watching Star Trek, so James Doohan is one of those people I feel as though I've known my entire life without ever having met him.

March 3, 1920 - July 20, 2005

Celebrating the Life and Career of James Doohan

Convention Report: Doohan's Farewell

Associated Press Obituary

I'm On the Global Frequency, and You're Not

I remember the day that Global Frequency #1 came out because I sped to the local comic shop on my lunch hour to get my weekly comics fix, and then immediately drove back to work where I sat and read the issue in my car. Warren Ellis' new science fiction series was one of the most intriguing and thought-provoking things I'd read in a long time, which naturally made it more important than food.

I picked up all of the subsequent issues as they were released, but even if you weren't quite so fortunate, fear not, the series is available in a couple of trade paperbacks (Planet Ablaze and Detonation Radio) which you can pick up at any bookstore.

If you want to see the pilot of the Global Frequency TV series, however, it's a little more complicated (read: less legal). But if you happen to have BitTorrent installed on your computer, try searching at isoHunt. You won't be disappointed. Like its source material, Global Frequency boasts intelligent and compelling storytelling, and stars a number of talented actresses, perfectly cast in strong female roles (I'm talking to you, wydah), who bring the comics' main characters to life in expert fashion. (And they're hot).

If you aren't already on the Global Frequency, you should be. In the world Ellis created, the GF is a worldwide independent intelligence network that uses the combined resources of its members to save the planet from secret horrors. Similarly, in our world the GF is a worldwide independent intelligence network trying to rescue an awesome television series from the not-so-secret horrors of Warner Brothers Entertainment, who decided not to add Global Frequency to the WB's fall schedule. Find out what you can do at the FrequencySite. Also, Wired News has an article on the P2P distribution of the GF pilot and Warner's reaction.

Other good sources of behind-the-scenes Global Frequency info include the Assistant/Atlas blog, the Kung Fu Monkey blog of series writer and producer John Rogers, and All the Rage has an excellent collection of screen shots from the pilot. Oh, and of course there's the obligatory global frequency Technorati tags.

Did I mention that Global Frequency stars Michelle Forbes, who I've had a crush on ever since she first appeared on Star Trek: The Next Generation, where she played Ensign Ro, arguably the only realistic crewmember on the entire Starship Enterprise? She plays Miranda Zero, the enigmatic and ultracool founder of the GF. Aimee Garcia is also excellent as Aleph, the multilingual GF communications officer. As mission coordinator, she's the one who calls people to tell them "You're on the Global Frequency" whenever their particular skills are required for saving the world.

If we're lucky, the WB will realize what a good thing they have with this unprecedented buzz for an unaired pilot, and change their minds, at which point Global Frequency would be added to the very short list of "television shows worth watching."

Nick Fury: A Portrait in Black & White

From Moviehole:

Arad confirms Willis in Nick Fury talks

Posted on Tue, 19-Jul-2005

Avi Arad, head-honcho of Marvel and anything filmatic the comic crew have done, confirmed to CHUD today that the rumours of Bruce Willis donning the eye-patch of one "Nick Fury" are on the money.

"I think he is interested. We are talking", says Arad.

Arad says he sees the "Nick Fury" series as a Yankie take on 007. "Nick Fury to me always was, there’s no American James Bond. James Bond is an incredible franchise based on what a British 007 would be, but you don’t have a franchise based on what an American guy would be with the same job, belief, everything. That’s Nick Fury. So if you do him right, no one will care what it is based on if it’s good."

Set-up at Paramount, the movie tells of Marvel comic character, Nick Fury, the director of an international espionage organization called S.H.I.E.L.D, who are constantly going up against rogues like the wicked Hydra.

Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Fury first appeared in the comic "Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos" in May 1963. The eye-patched adorned, cigar-chompin hero was later transformed into a James Bond type.

'Fury' first hit the screen in 1998, as a lacklustre David Hasselhoff vehicle. The rework is due for release in 2007, at the earliest.

OK, I can definitely see Bruce Willis as Nick Fury. But oddly enough, I can also see Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Why is that? Well, Marvel's depiction of the Agent of SHIELD -- in comic books, movies, video games, and collectibles -- has fluctuated quite a bit in the last few years.

Check out the slide show above to see what I mean.

Irresponsible Use of Modern Technology

Ah, CGI, the bane of my moviegoing existence.

Don't get me wrong, when used correctly, computer-generated special effects can be awesome. But more often than not, CGI shots are overused and take me out of the movie by screaming "look at me!" and destroying any suspension of disbelief.

And sometimes, the use of CGI is just wrong.

I mean, seriously, there's overuse, and then there's abuse...

Worst abuse of CGI in movie history?

"E.T." 20th Anniversary -- Replacing Guns with Walkie-Talkies"Godzilla" (American version) -- That, Sir, Was No Godzilla"Hannibal" -- Exposing Ray Liotta's Brain"Herbie: Fully Loaded" -- Reducing Lindsay Lohan's Breast Size"Hulk" -- Ang Lee Smash!"The Mummy 2" -- Surely the Scorpion King Made Harryhausen Cry"The Phantom Menace" -- The Existence of Jar Jar Binks"Star Wars" Special Edition -- Greedo Fires First/At All"Van Helsing" -- The Old 'Universal Monsters' Were More EffectiveOther -- You've got something worse? Please post it in Comments!

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Will That Be Spandex or Leather?

I may have been a bit premature in predicting DC's continued dominance over Marvel in the movie department.

Compiling the list of upcoming adaptations, I realized that both companies have some major blockbusters in the pipeline. And even if the DC movies prove to be of higher quality (and there are no guarantees), it would appear that Marvel definitely has the advantage when it comes to quantity.

These are the upcoming DC & Marvel movies that have release dates:

2005

DC: V for Vendetta

2006

DC: Superman Returns, The Flash
Marvel: X-Men 3, Ghost Rider, Deathlok, Punisher 2, Luke Cage, Blade tv series

2007

DC: Wonder Woman
Marvel: Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Captain America, Namor, Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD

2008

DC: Batman Begins sequel

Other Marvel projects in production:

The Hulk 2, Wolverine and Magneto spin-offs from the X-Men franchise, Ant-Man, Black Panther, Silver Surfer, Thor, and a Brother Voodoo TV series.

Of course there are always dozens if not hundreds of comic book movies "in production," but these items have been confirmed by supposedly reputable sources.

Handy websites for keeping up with this sort of thing: Comic Book Movie, Comics2Film, and Superhero Hype!

With Prep Time, Batman Defeats Fantastic Four

DC Dominates Marvel Again in Decades-Long Cinematic Battle

A popular theory among comic book fanboys on the internet is that, with sufficient prep time, Batman could defeat any opponent in combat, no matter how cosmic their powers and abilities. Such is the nature of his strategic and tactical genius. It's not hard to imagine how this theory developed, once you begin to consider the number of comic book stories in which Batman has handed Superman his ass, or the fact that Bats had contingency plans for eliminating every member of the Justice League in case they ever went rogue.

The Dark Knight's current box office battle with The Fantastic Four certainly bears out this theory. Batman Begins will go down as one of the greatest comic book movies in history, while Fantastic Four is one of Marvel's mediocre efforts (although "ambivalent" might be a better description... more on that later). And one of the FF's primary problems in crossing the Negative Zone between the comic book and movie universes was apparently insufficient prep time, since Fox rushed them to meet a July release date.

Batman Begins is a masterpiece, while Fantastic Four averages out as merely... well, average... once its pros and cons are compared and contrasted. The changes made to Dr. Doom's origin demonstrate that those responsible completely failed to grasp any of the aspects that make the supervillain compelling, and effectively reduced the Darth Vader of the Marvel Universe to a superpowered thug. What makes this all the more disappointing is the fact that they managed to nail almost everything else perfectly. Dr. Doom aside, the movie does an amazing job of capturing the characters, personalities, relationships, and tone of the comic with fantastic casting, performances, direction, and special effects. Really, my only complaints are that the characters' origins could have been more faithful to the source material (Dr. Doom suffering the worst, of course, to the point of character assassination), and that there is no real plot, as the movie is essentially a 106-minute origin story. Problems aside, this movie is still a must-see for FF fans -- Michael Chiklis and Chris Evans truly bring The Thing and the Human Torch to life on the big screen, and Jessica Alba does the same for unstable molecules -- and it has the potential for a kick-ass sequel.

Of course, the best assessment of the movie comes from Dr. Doom himself.

Box Office Mojo provides these current stats for the combatants:

Batman Begins:
Production Budget: $150 million
Worldwide Box Office: $315,026,000

Fantastic Four:
Production Budget: $100 million
Worldwide Box Office: $118,465,213

Over the past few decades, the pendulum of superior quality has swung back and forth between Marvel and DC's live-action offerings, and this summer marks the point where it swings back to Detective Comics. Combine the release of Nolan and Goyer's Batman Begins with the upcoming Superman Returns by X-franchise-abandoning Bryan Singer and a Wonder Woman movie by Joss Whedon, and all signs point to Marvel being Doomed. (Although I must admit I'm eagerly anticipating seeing Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider, and of course Marvel wisely still has Sam Raimi helming the Human Spider franchise).

For fun, lets look back over the decades and compare Marvel and DC's live-action offerings. Decide for yourself who the champion is for any given year. Titles in blue indicate anything that never hit the big screen: TV shows, made-for-television movies, straight-to-video movies, or things that were never actually released.

2005

DC: Batman Begins, Constantine
Marvel: Fantastic Four, Elektra, Man-Thing

2004

DC: Catwoman
Marvel: Spider-Man 2, The Punisher, Blade: Trinity

2003

Marvel: X2: X-Men United, Daredevil, Hulk

2002

DC: Birds of Prey
Marvel: Spider-Man, Blade 2

2001

DC: Smallville (2001-present)

2000

Marvel: X-Men

1998

Marvel: Blade, Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD

1997

DC: Batman & Robin, Steel, Justice League of America (unaired pilot)

Marvel: Generation X

1995

DC: Batman Forever

1994

Marvel: The Fantastic Four (Roger Corman version)

1993

DC: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993-1997)

1992

DC: Batman Returns

1991

Marvel: Captain America (Matt Salinger)

1990

DC: The Flash, Swamp Thing (1990-1993)
Marvel: The Death of the Incredible Hulk

1989

DC: Batman, Return of Swamp Thing
Marvel: The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (with Daredevil!)

1988

DC: Superboy (1988-1992)
Marvel: The Incredible Hulk Returns (with Thor!), The Punisher (Dolph Lundgren)

1987

DC: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

1986

Marvel: Howard the Duck

1984

DC: Supergirl

1983

DC: Superman III

1982

DC: Swamp Thing

1980

DC: Superman II

1979

DC: Legends of the Superheroes (WTF?)
Marvel: Captain America, Captain America: Death Too Soon (Reb Brown)

1978

DC: Superman: The Movie
Marvel: Dr. Strange, The Incredible Hulk (1978-82)

1977

Marvel: Amazing Spider-Man (Nicholas Hammond)

1976

DC: Wonder Woman (1976-1979)

1974

DC: Wonder Woman (TV movie starring Cathy Lee Crosby)
Marvel: The Electric Company (starring Spidey from 1974-77)

1967

DC: Batgirl (short) , Wonder Woman: Who's Afraid of Diana Prince? (I am, that's who)

1966

DC: Batman, Batman (1966-1968)

You can compare the box office success of the big screen movies here. (Spoiler: Spider-Man is #1, Steel is #63).

In upcoming posts I'll do another DC/Marvel list comparing the movies they're promising us for the future, and then point out some of the best comic book adaptations that came from different publishers altogether. For now, let me know if I missed anything, and let the debates begin!

Scarlett Johansson in Next Bat-Sequel

Kidding. I'm just posting this because (a) I was researching information on comic book movie adaptations and discovered that Ms. Johansson (right) co-starred with Thora Birch (left) in Ghost World (which I guess I'll have to watch now), and (b) I hadn't made a Scarlett Johansson post in 3 days, which just seemed wrong, since she's become this blog's unofficial mascot/resident goddess.

By the way, the news media is still reporting on "the bra incident." And finally, Cindy Pearlman confirms what I'd suspected, that when everyone was quoting Ms. Johansson as saying, "I'm not wearing this cheap ... bra," the ellipsis did not indicate that she'd paused in mid-sentence:

"Many actresses would have given me the list of rules for the love scene with Ewan McGregor," Bay says. "Scarlett goes, 'Look, I'm not wearing this cheap motherfucking bra. I'm going to do this fucking naked.'"

Go Scarlett!

Nazi or Muggle?

Joseph Ratzinger, a.k.a. Pope Benedict XVI, is lucky there's no provision in Catholic law for removing a pope from office. It's one thing to get people to let you slide after they find out you served in the Hitler Youth, but I expect the Pope's approval rating will plunge now that his opposition to Harry Potter has been exposed in the media. Personally, I think they should replace him with Battle Pope.

ZOMBIES!!!

Okay, I'm back, and mostly recovered from yesterday's 5-hour marathon running battle with the zombie horde that stood between me and the escape helicopter.

I highly recommend Zombies!!!, the board game by Twilight Creations, Inc. It's a cutthroat survival game in which you readily sacrifice friends and family to flesh-starved zombies in order to save your own ass, and it was obviously created by designers and artists who share my deep abiding love for zombie movies. Check out cards like Why Won't You Die? and expansions like Zombie 4: The End.

A great way to round out an evening devoted to watching DVDs with the words "of the Dead" in the title, just herd your (un)deadbeat friends from the couch to the kitchen table and remind everyone to aim for the head.

One Track Mind

One year I had one of those Zen Page-A-Day Calendars which gave you a different Zen quote for every day of the year.

When I got to this quote...

"You are what you think about all day long." -- Dr. Robert Schuller

... I tore it out and mailed it to my friend Cap'n John in Las Vegas, with an added note scrawled across the bottom:

"This is why men are always making such boobs and asses of themselves."

He stuck it on his fridge door, and later told me that when his mother went to visit him, she didn't "get it." Yes, there is definitely a difference in the way male and female brains are wired. Have you ever accused a woman of being a dick?

My point is that I have another quote from Scarlett Johansson about being forced to wear a bra during the filming of The Island:

Scarlett herself admitted: "I said, 'Women don't normally sleep in a bra. I can't wake up in this scene wearing a bra, it's ridiculous'.

When asked by the director what she wanted to wear instead, she replied: "Well, nothing."

So Hollywood has gone from filming unrealistic scenes for the sake of showing actresses naked, to filming unrealistic scenes for the sake of keeping them clothed. I do not view this as progress.

(By the way, the collage above is of Scarlett Johansson in a scene from A Love Song For Bobby Long. Click to enlarge)

Another Reason to Hate Michael Bay

Hey, let's start with a "news" story:

Scarlett Johansson told to keep her underwear on

NEW YORK -- Some Hollywood actresses are cautious about revealing too much skin but 20-year-old Scarlett Johansson had to be persuaded to keep her underwear on, according to her director in The Island, Michael Bay.

Speaking before Monday's New York premier of the thriller, which stars Johansson and Ewan McGregor as human clones on the run, Bay said he was prepared for the usual actress nerves when it came to shooting a love scene between the two leads.

"We're ready to go and of course the actress is not there," he told reporters. He said he was summoned to Johansson's trailer, expecting to have to reassure the star of Lost in Translation that her privacy and dignity would be protected.

"She's standing there and she says, 'I'm not wearing this cheap ... bra. I'm going naked,'" Bay said.

"I said, 'It's PG-13, you have to wear the bra,'" he said.

Bay describes The Island -- which carries a PG-13 rating meaning it is suitable for children with parental guidance -- as a summer "popcorn movie," though the plot raises important ethical issues about science and the morality of cloning.

The film by the director of Armageddon and The Rock is a change of direction for Johansson who has played a string of critically acclaimed roles in films such as Girl With a Pearl Earring and In Good Company.

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OK, when I read that article, this is the question I came away with:

What the hell is wrong with this culture?

Scarlett Johansson has to wear a bra because The Island is PG-13. Which has more "adult" content than a regular PG movie. I know I'm getting old, but doesn't anyone else remember when PG movies regularly contained nudity? (An era I like to refer to as my Golden Age of Puberty). We've gone from having regular PG movies with bare breasts, to supposedly "edgier" PG-13 movies with mandatory undergarments.

Just like the Republicans who can't stop whining about how much opposition they face even though they now control every facet of the U.S. government, or the Christians who insist that they're still being persecuted even though they've been the dominant religion ever since Emperor Constantine converted way back in 312, moral crusaders claim that our society is spiraling downward into the depths of depravity even though popular entertainment is more "child-safe" than ever before.

Finally we can relax, secure in the knowledge that the MPAA is protecting our children from life-scarring glimpses of the female body. Crap like this makes me sympathize with Springfield's anti-family organization started by Lindsey Naegle in The Simpsons episode, Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens, And Gays: "I dream of an America with nudity and F-words on network TV, where the whole world doesn't stop because a school bus did. Children are the future. Today belongs to me!"

Anyway, enough griping about bullshit Puritan values and priorities, let's look at the real issues here:

1. Hollywood Logic: I don't know about you, but if I were a director and Scarlett Johansson was insisting on getting naked in my movie, I think I'd get on the phone with some studio execs. "Hey guys? I can't get Scarlett to put on her underwear. You think you might be able to swing me an R rating?" Have these people no business sense?

2. Weren't we teased enough in Eight Legged Freaks? (see pictures above)

3. Doesn't Ewan McGregor get a vote in this? Seems to me he's the real victim here. When was the last time he scored on-screen? It's not like Obi-Wan's been getting any in the prequels.

Forcing Scarlett Johansson to wear a bra is an act of unspeakable evil. If there is a culture war being fought in Hollywood, Mr. Bay is guilty of war crimes.