"George Lucas Classics"

SHAFT NewsWire - George Lucas, whose net worth is estimated by Forbes at 3 billion dollars, recently launched a new project to spend his fortune on: purchasing the rights to classic motion pictures, digitally remastering them, then releasing updated Special Editions in cineplexes for a whole new generation of moviegoers to enjoy. The project is called "George Lucas Classics," and the first film to get the magic treatment is "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

Hoping to make the movie more appealing to a larger and younger demographic, Lucas has digitally added a lovable droid named Clank to the cast. Not everyone in Hollywood is enamored of Jack Nicholson's new robotic sidekick, however. The idea of a 1970s-era mental institution with a droid on staff seems preposterous to many, and some movie critics have condemned "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: The Special Edition" before it even hits theaters, calling it "an abomination" and "an affront to classic cinema."

Lucas remains unswayed by the negative press that the first "George Lucas Classic" has received so far, and issued this public statement to his naysayers:

"I defy you to name a single movie that couldn't be improved with the addition of dozens, if not hundreds, of CGI droids, alien creatures, and/or spaceships swarming around in the background."

Steve Gerber Still Doing "Hard Time"

The first issue of Hard Time Season Two came out last Wednesday, which was all the impetus I needed to finally get around to reading the first series. As a huge fan of Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber, I had tracked down the original 12 issues of his Hard Time series in comic shops and on eBay, even though I hadn't so much as thumbed through an issue. Then the complete run languished in a comic box in my closet for a few months, waiting for me to find an opportune time to read it all the way through.

When the time came, I was not disappointed.

Why hadn't I picked up the series from the beginning? Two reasons. First, I hadn't realized from what little promotion DC Comics gave the book that it was created and written by Mr. Gerber (with his longtime collaborator Mary Skrenes). Second, I'm not particularly into prison dramas. Sure, The Shawshank Redemption is one of the greatest movies of all time, but I've never bothered to watch an episode of Oz or Prison Break.

Hard Time has been described as Oz meets My So-Called Life. I've never seen either of those series, but if this combo means something to you, well, there you go.

I sat down to read the series with slightly mixed feelings. On the one hand, I was thrilled to be reading a Steve Gerber comic, but on the other, I was sorta wishing it was a new Howard the Duck series. Not that I'm one to pigeonhole creators; when I really trust a favorite writer, I'll follow along wherever their muse leads them. Although Gerber's writing enthralls from page 1 of issue 1 of Hard Time -- perfectly complemented by the moody artwork of Brian Hurtt and colorist Brian Haberlin -- there was a brief moment where the "I wish he was still writing Howard" voice popped into my head: A scene composed of soundbites from the popular media, represented by analogues of Oprah, Dr. Phil, and the shouting heads of Crossfire, is vintage Gerber, and made me nostalgic for the dead-on social and political satire of his acerbic waterfowl. But that voice was quickly silenced as I was drawn deeper and deeper into Gerber's newest creation.

So what's it about? Hard Time follows Ethan Harrow, a 15-year-old protagonist who is tried as an adult after inadvertently participating in a Columbine-style school shooting, given a sentence of 50 years to life, and sent to prison, where he slowly discovers that he possesses some sort of superpower. Gerber deftly blends the drama of prison life with forays into the supernatural, and demonstrates that he hasn't lost his touch when it comes to creating memorable characters. After only a few issues I was hooked on the series' unfolding mystery and the intricate lives of Ethan and his supporting cast.

The first six issues are collected in the Hard Time: 50 To Life trade paperback. Hopefully DC will see fit to publish a TPB reprinting the second half of "Season 1"soon. Until then, Season 2 #1 is an excellent jumping-on point. New and old readers alike will appreciate the reexamination of the traumatic events that kicked off Season 1. For some it will serve as an introduction to the series' premise, while for others it provides tantalizing new details that add even more depth to the story of how, and why, Ethan Harrow's life was changed forever.

You've probably noticed a link to Steve Gerber's blog in the sidebar already... check out Brian Hurtt's Hurtt Locker for great behind-the-scenes Hard Time artwork.

There's Nothing Like the Christmas Spirit

One December, back in the era when I was managing a comic shop, I was at a comics convention and got Dave Sim to sign and personalize a Cerebus t-shirt for a friend of mine who couldn't be there that day because, well, someone had to run the comic shop. If I remember correctly, Dave drew the aardvark in a Santa hat, and had him saying something along the lines of, "The cash register came up short. You're fired. Ho, ho, ho." What always stuck with me, though, was what Dave said when he handed the shirt back to me: "There's nothing like the Christmas spirit -- and this is nothing like the Christmas spirit."

I'm not exactly renowned for my holiday cheer, either. So in the true spirit of the season, I'd like to share with you Sarah Silverman's "Give the Jew Girl Toys."

If you like Sarah, I also recommend these IFILM clips from her "Jesus Is Magic" show. My favorite is "My Boyfriend Is Catholic."

Also funny is this clip of her taking over "Chappelle's Show" for the AWOL Dave Chappelle.

And finally, here are some recent articles about her in The New Yorker and Slate. If you're wondering about the photo above, it's of Sarah Silverman as Rain Robinson on "Star Trek: Voyager."

Above: A Cerebus Christmas card, signed by Dave Sim and Gerhard, from cerebusfangirl.com.

The Prestigious Scarlett Johansson

Although I was kidding when I reported earlier that Scarlett Johannson would appear in the next Batman movie, she will be the female lead in The Prestige with Batman (Christian Bale) and his butler Alfred (Michael Caine), not to mention Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and the Goblin King (David Bowie). The movie will also be directed by Christopher "Batman Begins" Nolan.

The movie is an adaptation of the science fiction novel by Christopher Priest (no, not that Christopher Priest) about rival stage magicians in the 19th century. Side note: According to Cinematical, Bowie will be playing Nikola Tesla!

Johansson will also be starring in Napoleon and Betsy. Assuming she plays Betsy, I really think they should cast Jon Heder as Napoleon.

The Death of John Lennon

Today is the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death at the hands of Mark David Chapman.

As the Associated Press describes it:

"Twenty-five years ago, on Dec. 8, 1980, John Lennon was shot to death outside his New York City apartment building by an apparently deranged fan."

To commemorate this sad occassion, and to annoy my buddy Victor, I'm taking another poll:

Which statement is the most accurate?
	John Lennon was murdered.
	John Lennon was assassinated.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Bill Willingham Goes Back to the Drawing Board!

Bill Willingham has a lot of long-time fans in the comics community, many of whom have followed his work since the '80s when he was writing and drawing the groundbreaking Elementals series. My friends and I aren't just comics fans, however. In our younger years we were gamers, and we first took note of Mr. Willingham's art when he was doing illustrations for Dungeons & Dragons and writing and drawing Villains & Vigilantes adventure modules.

Check out "Death Duel With the Destroyers" and "The Island of Doctor Apocalypse" at the V&V Cover Gallery. When Bill was doing a signing at Paper Heroes in Killeen, Texas, these are the items I brought to get signed. His look of distaste when he saw them was priceless. "Whoever drew these should have his fingers broken" was his only comment. I still think they're classics.

Bill's brief Wikipedia entry has a decent overview of his career (though any mention of V&V is conspicuously absent), hitting the highlights as it skips over the details. I've followed most of the comics listed there, and even own some original art from the Ironwood series.

There's a scene in "Cursed" (the Wes Craven werewolf movie starring Christina Ricci) in which one of the characters is desperately researching lycanthropy. He has a pile of comics on his bedroom floor, and the one on top is an issue of Bill's Coventry. I recognized it immediately. You can see the cover at the top of the page at the virtual Bill Willingham COMICON "booth."

Bill lived in Las Vegas for awhile, the setting of his Proposition Player miniseries, which will always have a place in my heart, as it was partially inspired by one of my best friends. Today I discovered this Las Vegas Weekly interview with Bill and a handful of other comic creators who lived there, including another of my all-time favorites, Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber.

Although Elementals and Coventry are probably my favorite Willingham works, the comic that really put Bill on the comics industry map was the Vertigo series Fables. (Watch and/or listen to Bill discuss Fables at the 2005 ComicCon). And while Fables is indeed an excellent book, my favorites have something that it lacks: Bill Willingham artwork. For years, Bill has been exclusively writing comics, leaving the drawing and inking chores to other artists.

Which is why I was amazed when my friend (the aforementioned inspiration for Proposition Player) called to tell me that Bill was going to be writing and drawing a new series for DC Comics. The new series is Shadowpact, a spinoff of his Day of Vengeance "Infinite Crisis" miniseries. He discusses it at length at Newsarama. One of the characters is a talking alcoholic chimpanzee detective. I cannot wait. Bill's writing is good on its own, but the combination of his writing and art is always something special.

"X-Men 3" Pictures and Teaser Trailer Released

Frasier Crane is the Beast! *

Watch the X3 trailer at apple.com. Check out the frame by frame analysis of it at The Xverse.com. Get updates on the movie's progress at xmenfilms.net and Comics2Film. And if you love navigating through Flash content, there's always the official site.

(*Disclaimer: Not an End Times revelation).

Rumsfeld's Imperial Decree

My buddy Jameson sent me the following email in response to the New Rumsfeld Rule. It's one of those things I really wish I would have thought of first. Check it out:

I found it remotely hilarious yesterday that Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, has made it an order that the Iraqi Insurgents no longer be referred to as "insurgents" because he feels that gives them too much legitimacy. However, no single word seems to be able to define the insurgents distinctly enough to stick. Rumsfeld himself suggest they be referred to as "enemies of the legitimate Iraqi government." Quite a mouthful to say the least.

However, fortunately I do have a good suggestion for renaming the Iraqi resistance. I say we just call them "Rebel Scum" and be done with it. I mean if we're going to let Emperor Bush run around invading any sovereign nation he decides to, just because he doesn't like them...why don't we just go ahead and go "full-starwars" here.

Think about it... we could call Rumsfeld "Lord Rumsfeld" or "Darth Rumsfeld" ...right?

We could consider Condoleeza Rice as a sort of Boba Fett character... seen a lot at various functions... but never really saying alot. But in the end we discover she's the true force behind the entire Empire's military.

Vice Emperor Cheney could be Jabba the Hutt, right? Oh sure he's not that fat, but he does hang out in an underground bunker a lot I hear... and he's always being nasty and snide and laughing a lot... and he did have that "scooter" guy hanging around and laughing whenever prompted... and that dude DOES kinda look like Jabba's rat bitch.

This could be cool... we could have them play the "Imperial March" every time our commandos go raid another suspected "rebel scum" hideout.

Of course this does have a down side... as that would make someone in the Iraqi resistance the "young Skywalker"...oh well ...long as they don't start popping up with fucking lightsabers, we'll be good to go. The AK's and RPG's are bad enough.

Can't you just picture Bush as the Emperor? [See attached image below]

Well, I figured I'd try to make a ha-ha out of this insane shit. Where the hell does Rumsfeld come off renaming shit anyway? Who died and named him Webster?? Geez. I'm embarassed to be American at times.

Hope you get a grin... I did the photoshop myself...