Rumsfeld's Imperial Decree

My buddy Jameson sent me the following email in response to the New Rumsfeld Rule. It's one of those things I really wish I would have thought of first. Check it out:

I found it remotely hilarious yesterday that Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, has made it an order that the Iraqi Insurgents no longer be referred to as "insurgents" because he feels that gives them too much legitimacy. However, no single word seems to be able to define the insurgents distinctly enough to stick. Rumsfeld himself suggest they be referred to as "enemies of the legitimate Iraqi government." Quite a mouthful to say the least.

However, fortunately I do have a good suggestion for renaming the Iraqi resistance. I say we just call them "Rebel Scum" and be done with it. I mean if we're going to let Emperor Bush run around invading any sovereign nation he decides to, just because he doesn't like them...why don't we just go ahead and go "full-starwars" here.

Think about it... we could call Rumsfeld "Lord Rumsfeld" or "Darth Rumsfeld" ...right?

We could consider Condoleeza Rice as a sort of Boba Fett character... seen a lot at various functions... but never really saying alot. But in the end we discover she's the true force behind the entire Empire's military.

Vice Emperor Cheney could be Jabba the Hutt, right? Oh sure he's not that fat, but he does hang out in an underground bunker a lot I hear... and he's always being nasty and snide and laughing a lot... and he did have that "scooter" guy hanging around and laughing whenever prompted... and that dude DOES kinda look like Jabba's rat bitch.

This could be cool... we could have them play the "Imperial March" every time our commandos go raid another suspected "rebel scum" hideout.

Of course this does have a down side... as that would make someone in the Iraqi resistance the "young Skywalker"...oh well ...long as they don't start popping up with fucking lightsabers, we'll be good to go. The AK's and RPG's are bad enough.

Can't you just picture Bush as the Emperor? [See attached image below]

Well, I figured I'd try to make a ha-ha out of this insane shit. Where the hell does Rumsfeld come off renaming shit anyway? Who died and named him Webster?? Geez. I'm embarassed to be American at times.

Hope you get a grin... I did the photoshop myself...