Defending Animism!

As I was passing a pile of action figures on a table at the Dallas Comic Con, the name on these packages jumped out at me, and after I stopped laughing, I took this picture. Animism Defender? Defenders of Animism? Wow. This is what Answers.com has to say about animism:

animism (an-uh-miz-uhm)

The belief, common among so-called primitive people, that objects and natural phenomena, such as rivers, rocks, and wind, are alive and have feelings and intentions. Animistic beliefs form the basis of many cults. (See also fetish and totemism.)

The belief that natural objects such as rivers and rocks possess a soul or spirit. Anima is the Latin word for “soul” or “spirit.” (See voodoo.)

I guess animism, as a religious belief, would be more prevalent today if the original Animists had had giant robotic transforming dinosaurs to defend their faith. Who wouldn't want one of these cyborg monsters running interference between them and a bunch of Crusaders or Jihadis? Heck, it would be handy to have one of these around the house just to sic on any Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses that knocked on your door.

As a lover of all variations of Engrish (wikipedia) and Manglish, I assumed that "Animism Defender" had been badly translated from Chinese, and a little internet research revealed that these toys are knock-offs of the Beast Wars/Transformers line. But that still doesn't explain why Kmart was selling them on their website.

I wonder if there's a market for an Animism Defender cartoon? Adult Swim, maybe? I would so love to write the scripts for that! The Religious Right wouldn't stand a chance against this Transformable horde.